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Adventures of the Polka-Dotted One

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Bicon Follow-Up 2 - Recipe for Aloe-based Lube
Following the discussion in the lovely seinneann_ceoil 's workshop on sex ed, I hunted down and found this recipe for water-based lube from natural ingredients. This was originally posted on fd_midori 's livejournal

Recipe for Aloe-Based Lube:
(from here and all credit to desiringsubject )

Please understand that I am far more of a cook than a scientist. Chemist. I make NO guarantees about safety, efficacy, or your own bodies' sensitivities. Okay? Okay.

I start with boiling water. I sterilize the containers I'm working with (truth be told, usually mason jars. I transfer a few ounces at a time into a pump bottle for use). I sterilize the measuring cup and the kitchen aid bowl and whisk as best I can.

Place aloe vera gel about equivalent to how much lube you want in the kitchen aid bowl. Lets say a cup. Pour over that just enough boiling water to liquify the gel, usually about half as much water as gel.

If you want a preservative, add the grapefruit seed extract at this point. About a teaspoon will do it with ease. If you find you taste it with that much, experiment with less. The taste is quite bitter. If you or your partner is sensitive to glycerine, use the brand "Traveler's Friend." It is dissolved in distilled water instead of glycerine. Otherwise, the amount of glycerine is really quite small with the easier to find brands. If you are looking to conceive, try it without the GSE. It is suggested that it is a mild spermicide. But then bear in mind that your lube will only have a shelf life of about a week or two. Longer in the fridge but, then, refrigerated lube. Of course, if that's your kink...

Add xanthan or guar gum. This is the tricky part. For a cup and a half of liquid, you'll want about a tablespoon of gum. The gum is both the thickener and what makes it slippery. For a thicker lube, use more, for a thinner lube maybe less. You can always add more, but there's a caveat.

This is the only part of this that I have science for: these gums are soluble fiber (I'm told). What makes them slippery is that their structure is long and stringy, like ovulatory cervical fluid, if that's a useful point of reference for you. If you add it carelessly, it will clump and you'll get noodles almost the consistency of tapioca. No good. My suggestion is the finest mesh sieve you can find. And you want to add it while the whisk is moving. BUT DO NOT OVER MIX. The whisk can and will break the fibers and reduce your lube to basically the consistency of aloe alone. So mix ONLY until it is dissolved. If you want more, measure it out, and mix again ONLY until it is dissolved. AGAIN, DO NOT OVERMIX.

Other than mixing, don't be afraid to handle it. Use a funnel, or whatever you like to get it into the container you want.

The general taste of the lube is "green" like vegetables. That's the aloe. If it tastes bitter, try less GSE. You will know if it's gone bad by using your food senses. If it grows mold, toss it. If it smells bad, toss it. It's very cheap to make.

While using it, it will, eventually dry out, though it seems to leave very little residue. You can always use more, but rewetting it with water rewets its lube-ing properties. So that's awesome too.

If I find that you have taken this advice and marketed it for profit, I and my avenging angels will hunt you down.

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(Deleted comment)
I've used the lube made by desiringsubject and it's really good stuff. In my experience it does last longer than a couple weeks without refrigeration but it will go off eventually.

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